tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90954342064687774632024-03-21T16:50:50.902-07:00Waking from DelusionThis is nothing I expected it to be....Moonlighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08385836814026790705noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9095434206468777463.post-29345015825045728992014-12-26T00:43:00.000-08:002014-12-26T00:43:46.705-08:00Ramblings (in parts)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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“There is no separate entity ‘you’”</div>
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<br /></div>
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What a simple sentence, but until you actually SEE it, you
do not realize what that seeing through this illusion, this belief in this
separate ‘you’, means for, well, your entire world.</div>
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<br /></div>
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We are conditioned from an early age to believe in
ourselves. Society, family, religion, the mind, it all works together to create
layers and layers of beliefs and conditioning. So much so that the very idea of
questioning this core belief that we might not actually be an entity is unthinkable.
We strive, trying to make ourselves more successful, better, richer, more
knowledgeable, happier than others, sure in our knowledge that once we achieve
whatever our goals are set on at that moment, we will be happy.</div>
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<br /></div>
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And yet, even after all that striving, most of us are not
happy or at peace, going from place to place and from distraction to
distraction in search of that ‘something’ that will bring that elusive
contentment to us, not realizing that all it does is bring us a very temporary
joy. When we achieve the goals we set out for ourselves, we are happy for a
short time, and then the yearning for more starts again. Some of us become ‘seekers’,
ending up with religious or spiritual teachers who are either in it for the
money or fame, or with those who think they have ‘got it’ but in actuality they
have only achieved levels of knowledge or amassed spiritual experiences.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many take their students or followers on wild
goose chases, knowingly and many-a-times, unknowingly. After all, they think
they’ve reached the highest levels of enlightenment, and so lead their students
down the same paths of reading, praying, hours of meditation, chanting,
self-deprivation and the like, having them believe that ‘it’ can only be
achieved through long striving and, unfortunately, creating layers of further
conditioning. Long and arduous paths are created along with high expectations
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<br /></div>
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Reality is far, far simpler. It is the simplest thing, the
only thing. And it cannot be achieved or received through knowledge, it can only be realized.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Once we actually start to question if ‘we’ actually exist as
separate entities, honestly, bravely and with focus, the entire structure
starts to crumble like a house of cards. We realize how everything, everything
that we believed to be true, actually isn’t. We have literally created
ourselves, and hence, our worlds.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Simply put, life is simply happening. Not to anyone, by
anyone or for anyone. It simply is - whole, undivided and all-encompassing.</div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When this is realized, actually SEEN, life takes on a
completely different flavor. Nothing changes: problems remain, the ups and
downs of life come and go - and yet, everything changes forever.</div>
</div>
Moonlighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08385836814026790705noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9095434206468777463.post-41630164868728200222014-05-05T05:05:00.001-07:002014-05-05T05:05:24.757-07:00Nothing more<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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So often I find there is nothing to say. Nothing more than
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<br /></div>
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After a few years of the so-called ‘passing through the gate’,
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<br /></div>
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In any case, there is peace. </div>
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Moonlighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08385836814026790705noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9095434206468777463.post-39616829812731056702013-10-20T05:52:00.001-07:002013-10-20T05:52:11.956-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Just putting a few thoughts down... It's so interesting, the way the end of seeking and unraveling of stories goes. It is a surrender in the deepest sense of the word, when 'you' stop looking for answers and let yourself relax into life. <br /><br />Life continues to happen, and every now and then, something arises which hooks you. The same conditioned emotions/responses come up, but are mostly seen for what they are. Fascinating. Unless it is a deeper, more insidious thought, and without realizing, you get sucked in, and hold on tight. And then, finally, even that is seen for what it is and it unravels as well. <br /><br />So it goes on, I guess, until you are left with nothing. <br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Moonlighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08385836814026790705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9095434206468777463.post-76027037462139766712013-04-06T04:27:00.001-07:002013-04-06T04:27:47.675-07:00Being different in a conformist society<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What is it like, to be ‘different’ in a society that expects
you to be the same, to conform to certain ideals, behaviors, cultural norms,
religious beliefs, etc, when everything in yourself is telling you that it all, everything,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>is not real? What do you do? </div>
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<br /></div>
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This is the question that I was living for the past couple
of years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t write in my blog, being too
busy to do so, just living in a way that didn’t conflict with myself or my
society</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At first, the zeal to tell everyone about what I had
realized, and the way it had changed my life, my very being, was strong. I
tried different things. Writing a little in this blog I started. Talking to a
few people I knew were interested in spirituality, awakening, whatever you want
to call it. But no one wanted to hear. I was getting caught into arguing my viewpoint. Telling people that
so much of what they were doing didn’t really matter as the self isn’t real. It
was a joke that no one got. Later, I would go over my conversations and think
how I myself was doing nothing except getting caught in the web of ‘self-based’
thinking and behavior. Of course, conditioning of 40+ years is very strong. It’s
not like my thinking patterns were going to disappear overnight. Hence the
discussions, the arguing, the getting worked up, wanting other people to be
like me, and getting frustrated when they just wouldn’t listen</div>
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Slowly, I realized that my behavior patterns and the predictable thinking
process was loosening, and giving way to a more relaxed way of thinking and life. A lot of
this was due to just observing my thoughts, reactions and behavior, and realizing the 'hooks', the things I was getting stuck on. Slowly and quickly, so much
dropped away, and the process is still happening. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I realized that people will only be willing to consider the
possibility of losing everything that they have ever believed in when THEY are
ready, not when I want them to be. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That
day might not even come for a lot of people. Religion and culture are very strong
forces in most people’s lives here, and it is not something they are willing to let go of and look beyond. But it is fine if they are
okay with their lives, if this is the way they want to live and I am okay with
that now. Hurting people by saying things that they are not ready to hear is
not the answer. Helping and guiding them when they are, is.</div>
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<br /></div>
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But it still leaves the question of me. What do I do? How do
I live my life here? If I was not married, didn’t have kids, a family, an
extended family set up in which I live, probably I would be living very
differently. But as it is, I’m not willing to give up what I have. My husband
and most of my family have no interest in this (but I have to say that they
have been more understanding than a lot of people). I have learnt that it is
possible to live life ‘on the edge’, balanced between the two ‘worlds’. Doing some
‘expected’ behavior, speaking the truth, but in the language that is heard and
understood. Doing things which might seem hypocritical to those that really
know me, but which are necessary at the time. It is okay to do that. Maybe hard
to understand for those that do not have those limitations, but it is alright
to play with life. That is the beauty of it. What helps a lot is having people like my best friend and my LU friends to talk things with. For that I am forever grateful. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Managing to stay true within these parameters, letting life
flow, being moved to do things that are needed, with no expectations of what
the results will be, having no expectations of how people should behave whilst
knowing they will all behave differently, this is beautifully freeing and
magical. There is so much appreciation for everyone, for the beauty of people
and the beautiful, varied ways they live their lives That is a miracle right before our eyes. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I love you, however you are. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</div>
Moonlighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08385836814026790705noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9095434206468777463.post-17358861426742525592012-04-18T00:41:00.002-07:002012-04-18T00:41:25.412-07:00Gateless Gatecrashers<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
A great new book about ordinary people guided by Ilona and Elena to see through the illusion of self. It can be a wonderful tool for examining your own beliefs and concepts. Have a look!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0ETlNbKROSWznx5FZPFWrIb-SsefFxrP1691xng_KYkZjy_9-wzAs5s7Z7m7J4OBLuXo3JTAiRCXMxxawUQBADlAvExcubZoBOA9liaSK8db_YOaAUl_k6JQNYNHpqLInDiASsGMUf9U/s1600/Gateless+Gatecrashers-frontcov.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0ETlNbKROSWznx5FZPFWrIb-SsefFxrP1691xng_KYkZjy_9-wzAs5s7Z7m7J4OBLuXo3JTAiRCXMxxawUQBADlAvExcubZoBOA9liaSK8db_YOaAUl_k6JQNYNHpqLInDiASsGMUf9U/s320/Gateless+Gatecrashers-frontcov.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<a href="http://www.lulu.com/shop/ilona-ciunaite-and-elena-nezhinsky/gateless-gatecrashers/paperback/product-20065790.html" target="_blank">To go to the Gateless Gatecrashers link, click here.</a></div>Moonlighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08385836814026790705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9095434206468777463.post-10793907337451966312012-04-11T01:45:00.000-07:002012-04-11T01:45:40.476-07:00Resistance<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Why don’t people want to wake up?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am baffled after talking to various people. Most people
seem to want to not suffer, be content and at peace. They might even be seeking
enlightenment, nirvana, to wake up. But when presented with the possibility,
there is huge resistance to LISTENING, to even considering the fact that there
could be something as non-mystical and simple as seeing through the illusion of
self (and the ensuing peeling of the layers of delusion) that can be the first
big steps for this journey</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why? Why don’t we want to listen? Here are some thoughts I’ve put
down.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<ol style="text-align: left;">
<li>We are happy as we are. But there is always a
striving for something more, which is contradictory to this claim. On the other
hand, this striving is what keeps people going in the world of duality.If you're happy, great!</li>
<li><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span>We are secure in our ‘knowledge’ of how life is.
The unknown is scary, even if the results are guaranteed to bring contentment.
The continuing of a familiar, albeit suffering-filled life is the only
acceptable option. People like the familiar, the known, the safe.</li>
<li><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"></span></span>The conditioning goes so deep that the very
thought of someone challenging the belief system is impossible and to be
rejected. </li>
<li><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"></span></span>We feel we will be lost without the framework of
a given ‘law’, or guidelines on how to behave, what to do, etc.</li>
<li><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"></span></span>We believe that this ‘version’ of awakening has
to be false, it is something only our religious teachers or spiritual gurus can
lead us to, after years of praying, practice and striving. How can it be so
simple? Therefore it can’t work.</li>
<li><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"></span></span>With the seeing through of maya, comes the
dropping of identifications. What then of us as the victims, the worriers, the
achievers, the seekers, the good wives, the excellent mothers? And so on. Who
are we without our images of ourselves?</li>
<li><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"></span></span>The seeking will stop. But the seeking is what keeps
us going. It is like an identity, like so many others. </li>
<li><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"></span></span>It cannot be something that us ordinary people
can ‘achieve’. Only the pious and the saintly ‘super beings’ could possibly be
spiritually enlightened.</li>
<li><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"></span></span>There has to be a willingness to be brutally
honest, to be brave enough to face that life may not be what they thought it
was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps some of us are not ready
for it. It is much easier to pretend to oneself that we are moving forward on
the journey, when actually we are not going anywhere at all. </li>
</ol>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One can go on analyzing, wondering. But I guess what the
whole thing boils down to is FEAR, fear of the unknown, fear of losing what we
have, which might not be perfect, but it’s what we know.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you are ready, let’s take a jump into the unknown. It
really might be worth it! </div>
</div>Moonlighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08385836814026790705noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9095434206468777463.post-83616407865897767212012-03-14T05:39:00.000-07:002012-03-14T05:39:29.515-07:00Nothing to say.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
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I do not know what to say.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is strange. After the fire, after the spike in energy of
the past months, there is a curious burning out, a quietness inside.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I really have nothing much to say. The people who are close
to me, find me a little strange now, and I find myself not engaging much, not feeling a
desire to interact like before. I am finding it difficult to engage in the
usual talk, chit chat, work discussions, social talk. The things that seemed so
important once, seem irrelevant now, and a little meaningless</div>
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<br /></div>
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Does that mean I am not content? No, not at all, kind of the
opposite. I am so content, that I feel no desire to ‘do’ things to find
happiness, or security or pleasure. I have reactions, I feel happy and sad and
angry, but they doesn’t last long. Passes through quickly, and I am left with a
near-constant peace/love/gratitude combo.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What does it mean? I have no idea, and no real desire to find out
why either. Perhaps I should be looking, perhaps it is a place I am in danger
of getting stuck in. I have read, of course, of the dangers of getting stuck in
nothingness, in emptiness. But it does not feel empty at all. It feels alive
and joyful, perfect as it is</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I will write of any changes as they happen, as best as I
can. But to be honest, words fail me these days. </div>
</div>Moonlighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08385836814026790705noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9095434206468777463.post-35339517971713213882012-01-07T08:08:00.001-08:002012-01-07T08:08:06.246-08:00Another storyAnd od course, the blog post below is nothing but yet another story... A story running through this character's head... Does anyone know anything for sure?Moonlighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08385836814026790705noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9095434206468777463.post-52829964668395454602012-01-06T04:55:00.000-08:002012-01-06T04:58:09.578-08:002012, Special or not?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 10pt;">It is the beginning of 2012, a new
year, a fresh beginning. Of course, all a new year is, is a concept, a man-made
division, but useful nonetheless, and a chance to review and rethink. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 10pt;">So what happens now? Is the world
going to continue on its mad path of wars, power struggles, greed? Or will
there be the end of the world, a 'paradigm shift' or 'wave of awakenings', as
many would have us believe? Anything at all? Who knows. I was skeptical,
thinking what a load of nonsense all this hype was. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 10pt;">Now, I watch what's going on in the
world, in Liberation Unleashed, other sites like it, spiritual books selling
like hot cakes, and I stop short. Loads of people seem to be having spontaneous
awakenings, or looking for places such as Unleashed in a state of readiness, and
I wonder. Is there really anything to be said for this, are people really 'popping'
all over the place, or is it just that I
am looking from this perspective, 'in that interest group' so finding similar
thoughts, similar people.? I don't think so. A question someone had put up in
our group, whether the people working in LU had a vision to help heal the
world, or was it just a hobby made me think and write about this. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 10pt;"><b>Will the world change if enough
people awaken?</b> Do people change from their innocent but egoistic, selfish
behavior after liberation? I would think so. When you know you are not a
separate entity, the drive for 'me' and 'mine' becomes so significantly less. I
won't say disappears completely, because, of course, you continue to eat and
survive (leaving aside the discussion about how much conditioning survives
awakening, and how much is animal instinct), but SO MUCH of our previous
behavior seems pointless, in fact completely deluded at times. This is what
I've felt, and would love to know if such behavior has changed in others. From
my discussions in our groups, it definitely seems so.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 10pt;">After all, if your belief in
yourself as a separate entity goes, then everything is as much ‘you’ or rather
'not you' as you yourself. No separation or boundaries. I see a starving child
on TV, and tears roll down my face, at that moment, it is as I AM that child. I
see love in a person's expression, and I feel love in MY heart, and tears of joy appear. I can't
watch emotional or depressive movies anymore, it sometimes gets to be too much emotion to
handle. Perhaps this is different to how a realized person 'should' behave, but
this is how it is here. Why would I need
or want to harm others? The very idea seems preposterous. There is so much love
being felt. After all, isn't it our belief
in our ‘selves' which deludes us into fighting, working, struggling at the cost
of others? No selves = no others.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 10pt;">Yes, to me, it really seems the
world would be a better place if people were awake to reality. So I feel the
work being done at Liberation Unleashed, and other places like it, is
invaluable and I hope more and more people are inspired to help others.
Unfortunately, the way to reality has been so shrouded in layers and layers of
mystery, spiritual mumbo-jumbo, religious rituals and practices, that it is
difficult to see how simple and attainable it is. Kudos to LU for stripping it
of those layers and presenting it as it is. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 10pt;">And if enough people do come on
board, perhaps 2012 WILL be special and the year of <b>LOVE</b>.</span><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 9pt;"></span></div>
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<br /></div>
</div>Moonlighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08385836814026790705noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9095434206468777463.post-31503561594828838942011-12-28T09:16:00.000-08:002011-12-28T09:16:46.310-08:00When the crutch of religion disappears!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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As I realized to my great astonishment, I didn’t ‘need’ to
believe in religion anymore. The always-present net of beliefs that had always
brought me comfort at times of difficulty was gone, completely vanished, and it
was ok! Along with the need for answers, the need for wanting a god who would
make things ok when I had problems, a need for having something to believe in, a
need to have a moral system given to me, a need to belong to a community, all
that disappeared in one go, from being a constant crutch for me, to nothing. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At times, it was disorienting. After all, the habits of a
lifetime do not disappear, even if the beliefs did. I would find myself
thinking the same thoughts, and then realizing,” oh, I don’t really believe
that thought anymore”. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was strange. I
was so used to turning to God, Allah for solving all my problems. And, living
in a country where almost everyone has the same religious concepts, it is especially
strange. I would hear other people talking the same way, doing the same things,
and I remembered myself doing exactly the same just a little while ago, and now
being completely out of it. I have to say, at times I found myself thinking, “oh
silly people, don’t they know it doesn’t matter if they’re praying five times
or none. Do they really think they’re going to be punished in hell if they don’t,
and go to heaven if they do”, or, even worse, “do these people need the threat
of an external God to be good and charitable” whereas I, awakened being that I
am just ‘good’. Tsk tsk. I stayed in the "I am enlightened, hence better than them" trap for a while.</div>
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<br /></div>
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People expect me still to teach the same stuff to my
kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I struggled with that one for a
while too, how to teach something I don’t really believe in anymore. Now, I’m
letting life take its course. My eldest son has already reached more or less
the same conclusions that I have, but in a more scientific way. My second one
is religious, with the tendency to be too literal and rigid. Third son is the
one who is slightly autistic. At the moment, I think he’s ok with the ‘good’
parts of religion. My daughter is still young. She hears a lot of rigid
religious stuff, but at the moment, I make sure she knows that is not all there
is. Help to keep her mind open. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I see people around me who are searching, but within the
religious boundaries. Furthest they go usually is sufiism, with its concept of
merging with God, and God being all there is. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think they are not yet prepared for the naked
truth, that keeping within the boundaries will still leave you with residual
beliefs, concepts and identifications. You have to throw it ALL out to get to
the real. But as we discussed, if that is what is making them happy, then that’s
fine. What makes me a little sad is how the religious clergy do their best to keep it mystical, difficult, far out of reach for ordinary people. It keeps them powerful and special, keeps the power game in their hands. Not good. I don’t usually go around broadcasting my beliefs, or lack of, but if someone
asks, fine. I'm here to answer any questions. </div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Religion kept me focused on how this life was just a
journey, real life was after death, after going to heaven. But after realizing
this is all there is, I am appreciating the magic of every moment, the miracle
of life happening anew. </div>
</div>Moonlighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08385836814026790705noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9095434206468777463.post-25803189229018764652011-12-26T00:29:00.000-08:002011-12-28T09:05:20.503-08:00A bit about doubts<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">
As I was reading what I just posted, I realized that it
might seem that after seeing no self, I had instant clarity and no remaining
confusion or doubts. This wasn’t the case. I’m just writing a tiny bit here,
and will expand on this later when I can. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">
There was a major immediate shift, yes. Identification with
thoughts, the seeing that I didn’t exist as a separate entity from life,
etc. What was seen can’t be unseen, like
you don’t start believing in Santa again after realizing he doesn’t really
exist. But the mind is very tricky, it continues to create doubts and
confusion, doesn’t want the simplicity and truth of reality. And the
conditioning of a lifetime doesn’t just finish instantaneously.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">
And so, one ‘forgets’, and can get caught up in one’s
thoughts, emotions and so forth, like getting so caught up in a movie that you
forget that it’s not reality. But you still ‘know’ that it’s not real, at the
back of the mind, you know what’s real and what’s not. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">
This continues to happen to me.
I think it is important to know that this is natural, and it doesn’t
mean that you’ve gone into delusion again. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">
<span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">This is my observation for now, but I would like
to write more later about the ‘state of forgetting’ and ‘state of remembering’.
But they are both experiences that come and go, and doesn’t mean you have ‘lost’
it. After all, reality remains the same. It is just the mind that creates the doubts, and they are no more than thoughts.</span></div>
</div>Moonlighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08385836814026790705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9095434206468777463.post-62281428799991102962011-12-25T23:31:00.000-08:002011-12-25T23:31:22.369-08:00Life flowing...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Very busy time, much happening, so writing after a break… <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">:)</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How is life now, now that this carefully constructed
structure of ‘me’ that has been lovingly added to over the years has come
crumbling down? Now that the beliefs of a lifetime, the concepts formed over
decades, the identification with thoughts and emotions, has been seen to be
nothing more than an illusion? How does one live in this world with nothing to
hold on to? How does one describe the indescribable?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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The utter simplicity of the truth was downright astounding.
The, the, what shall I say… directness, the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">unfussiness</i>
of life as it is, is so surprising. So simple, in fact, that the mind does not
want to accept it. It WANTS the complications, the drama, the ‘add-ons’ that
we’re used to living with all our lives. That is why we hang on to stuff
without letting go, and in fact, at times create ever subtler forms of
identification that is harder and harder to see. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I’m moving too far ahead. The basics first. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Life after seeing through the illusion of self
is sweet. That is not to say that bad things stop happening, or that you live
in a state of permanent bliss. Life continues to move, to flow, through
experiences which are labeled ‘bad’ or ‘good’, through times which can be unpleasant
or joyful. But there remains an inherent sweetness to life, a foundation of
love and a positive energy, and an increasing equanimity inside. The seeking
and quest for answers just drops. Experiences are seen as just that,
experiences, and the mind does its job of labeling those very experiences. But
the power of those thoughts loses its hold more and more. Like clouds passing
through a sky, thoughts come and go. The judgments, comparisons, labeling is
seen to be just a function of the mind, and in this seeing, the glue which
keeps us identifying with our thought or be carried along with them, gets less
and less. As time passes, I find that there are less thoughts than before too,
but this is not a deliberate ‘controlling of thoughts as in focused meditation.
It is a natural by product. The increase or decrease of thoughts is equally a
happening in life. Naturally, the mind becomes quieter, at rest. Increasingly, one uses
the mind as a tool when needed. Obviously, to function in the world, you cannot
do without the mind, it is a wonderful tool, but it stops being our master. That
I found to be a major immediate shift - the non-identification with thoughts.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I had so much anxiety about the future, regrets about the
past. But then, when the main heroine in my life (me!) was seen to be just
that, an illusory character, the past and future were seen to be nothing but a
story in my head, and the anxiety and regrets, more thoughts which brought
nothing but pain. By all means, we need to do necessary planning and thinking,
but the obsessive useless thinking part, well, just didn’t make sense anymore.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Emotional reactions, for me, are taking time to wind down. I
still find myself reacting illogically at times, caught up in my emotions. But
the flavor of it has changed. Emotions pass more quickly, usually seen pretty
quickly for being arisings in the body, triggered by thoughts or outside
stimuli. I think it is helpful to look at the emotional reaction arising
without the story attached to it. Feel it in the body, and that lets it pass
through</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After seeing the illusory nature of self, one realizes that
everything, EVERYTHING one believed in, ALL the concepts, ALL the
identifications, all that one so carefully holds on to, has been a lie of sorts. As I
said before, I did not find this happening immediately, but over a period of
time, after passing through the ‘gateless gate’. Some stuff dropped instantly,
some not so quickly. Your life, as you knew it, becomes unraveled. This is the
point where subtler forms of identifications can take place without you
realizing it. For example the bit about ‘Oh, now I am enlightened’ or ‘Other
people are inferior because they haven’t woken up yet’ were thoughts which ‘hooked’
me, until I saw through them. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or even ‘Life
is all there is, so I don’t need to do anything’ is another concept to hide
behind. I found that there are thoughts, concepts, identifications which I have
to at times consciously bring into the light of awareness to see through them,
and then they get uprooted. Honesty and a willingness to look inside is
important at this point to clear out all the crap one has built up over so many
years of conditioning.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is getting to be rather a long post. Guess I’ll write
more in my next one, talk a little about doubts that arise, and some
other aspects.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HAPPY HOLIDAYS! :)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</div>Moonlighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08385836814026790705noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9095434206468777463.post-58280228136706636222011-12-19T21:29:00.000-08:002011-12-19T21:29:04.109-08:00The Fire of Truth<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So...
What is this thing called Aawakening, Realization, the First Step, the Gateless
Gate? I can only speak from my own experience, that's all anyone ever has. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">As
I wrote in my last post, maybe some people have an awakening which wipes out all
identifications, conditioning and old mental patterns in one go. That has not
been the experience here, so I don't really know. The way I see it is:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Awakening
has been the ignition of the fire of truth, a fire which burns </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">everything
untrue. Everything which is not true or real gets burnt or drops away, some
immediately, some slowly, till you're presumably left with nothing. (I say
presumably, as I can see that I am not there :))</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Starting
from when one is an infant, the belief of being a separate entity from life is
gradually created by our mind. Perhaps it is a default programming which is
furthered developed by our parents, environment, language, etc. I think there
is a default mechanism there, as I cannot imagine a child who is brought up
away from society on its own wouldn't still develop the same illusory self. Who
knows. As it is, we are taught that we are so and so, we are 'good' or 'bad',
our personality is like this or that, we need to be special, ‘do well’,
etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our self image develops along with
our concepts, beliefs and use of language, creating an ever-thickening,
constricting wall of 'me’. And our belief in a self becomes a deeply
entrenched, unquestioned reality. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When
this illusion is seen through, when it is seen that who we are is nothing more
and nothing less than life living as these myriad unique manifestations, then a
lot of this wall crumbles immediately; concepts and beliefs are dropped, our
precious opinions seen as being nothing but thoughts that were believed in. ‘Our
life’ as we knew it is seen to have been an imaginary reality in our heads! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">However,
some parts of this imaginary wall of self built over so many years are harder
to burn away; old patterns of thoughts, some deeply entrenched conditioning or
delusions remain. The mind is a tricky thing! Some of these identifications can
be hard to see, and maybe even new ones develop. After all, the mind loves to have something to attach to, some identification. For example, one can get
attached to the belief of being 'an enlightened person', or being superior, or
becoming Awareness or the ‘Witness’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps
these need to be consciously looked at, brought into the fire, so to speak, so
they too can be burnt away, uprooted out of the system, or maybe life does it
for us. Maybe we are happy with some parts of the structure remaining, or maybe
it gets burnt to the ground anyway, until one is completely free.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And
we are free to play our character again, free to rest in this wonderful
unknowingness. Ego does not have to be destroyed, it is just seen for what it
is, an illusion created by the mind. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This
‘burning down process' after awakening seems to be different for everyone in
the sense of time, intensity, quality, the way it manifests, etc. Perhaps all
the above is BS for you. Who knows for sure. I certainly don’t. As I said, all
I have is my own experience to write about. </span></div>
</div>Moonlighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08385836814026790705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9095434206468777463.post-29898647417704943522011-12-16T05:13:00.000-08:002011-12-17T03:41:18.394-08:00The Crumbling...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">
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In July of this year, I somehow got to know Ilona Ciunaite
(Marked, Eternal - <cite>markedeternal.blogspot.com</cite>), from Liberation Unleashed, on facebook. I do not remember how, it is one of those things
which make you wonder at the perfect flow of life.</div>
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<br /></div>
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She saw where I was “spiritually”, if there is such a thing.
She told me about seeing through the illusion of self, and what
the implications are. That the self is nothing but a concept, a thought that is
tacked on to the rest of our thoughts, sensations, emotions, what have you. I understood her intellectually, but it was
just that, a vague mental understanding.</div>
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She guided me by asking me about
questions that made me look inside, to see if “I” exist. At first resistance
came up, I did not want to see. I have
since come to realize that this is the case with most, seekers and non-seekers
alike. Non-seekers are content in their
lives as they are, which is fine. I guess I wasn’t, that is what made me a
seeker. But even the so-called spiritual seekers often do not want to look at
the truth, they want a watered-down version of the truth, something that suits
their perception of what the truth should be. Which is fine too, I guess. All
of it is life flowing, life as it is. </div>
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Along with the resistance, which took the shape of
distractions, anger, ‘I don’t have the time to do this’ kind of stuff, came fear. Fear to face up to
the truth, fear that somehow, I will not be able to continue to live and fulfill
my responsibilities, fear that I’ll become robot-like, fear that I was doing something
‘wrong’. Ilona patiently helped
me by asking the right questions, helping me focus. This is what is the usual way at Liberation Unleashed, a one-on-one dialogue to help others see through delusion. </div>
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When I was able to focus enough to really LOOK, I could not
find myself! What a revelation! I, as a separate entity living and controlling ‘my
life’ did not exist. All of our personas, our so beloved selves are nothing but
a story our mind has made up. We spend so much energy maintaining our story,
defending it, believing our thoughts, protecting our make-believe characters. What
a sad and funny story at the same time!</div>
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Awakening to the truth was nothing I expected. It was almost
a non-event, something so natural, so obvious that it seems strange afterwards
why it was not seen before, and by everyone. Almost a non-event I say, but at the same
time, a life-changing paradigm shift, a complete change of perspective. Opinions, thoughts, ideas, memories,
sensations, emotions were seen for what they are, arisings in life, but with no
ownership of them. My beliefs and mental stories were gone, or at least the
majority of them. Life took on a flow, an almost magical wonder!</div>
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That is not to say that all conditioning, habits, reactions
were wiped out. No. Maybe in some cases that happens, but my experience was that,
after seeing through the illusion, I was still reacting at times, getting
caught up in thoughts, but very quickly, within minutes, seeing them for what
they were. Whereas earlier, I would be completely caught in the story, letting
myself be swept along whatever emotion or thought I was identifying with.</div>
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I had believed that “I” needed to do this or do that, that I
was controlling life. As if anyone could. Or rather, as if there is anyone
there to control! Life, as I knew it, was gone.</div>
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More of life after this ‘seeing through’ in the next…</div>
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</div>Moonlighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08385836814026790705noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9095434206468777463.post-58488056238128138692011-12-14T03:09:00.000-08:002011-12-17T03:43:29.856-08:00Life in a box<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 10pt;">HI. Here's my first post, about life
after a few months of seeing through the illusion of the self. But first, let
me write a little about life BEFORE this.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 10pt;">I spent about forty-some years doing
what everyone else seems to be doing - searching for happiness. Living in a
society which is rigid about social,religious and cultural norms, I grew up
believing that the way I lived was the right, in fact the ONLY, way to be. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 10pt;">And so, within this narrow view of
life, I searched. To help myself deal with the different issues that life
brings us, I turned to religion and the search for God. I tried to be
'pure' and 'good' in the hope of finding eternal happiness in heaven. I thought
I found some peace, mistaking the safety net of old beliefs for contentment.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 10pt;">My best friend, from a different
culture and background, talked with me about different viewpoints, but I was
sure I knew it all. I'm sure she must at
times have been shocked at my arrogance
at times, but she was too nice to have told me what a jerk I was sometimes!
However, I'm sure at some subconscious level, I must have been registering
the fact that there are other ways to think, to be.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 10pt;">Some
years ago, I was finding it difficult to cope with life's problems.
Having come across meditation techniques on the internet, I decided to give it
a go, to find that ever-elusive happiness. At about the same time, I started
thinking about things which I had always just accepted to be true
and unquestionable. So much didn't make much sense to me anymore... If there
was a God, why ever would He make His beloved creatures suffer like this? Or
punish them in everlasting hell? No, I couldn't accept that!
In the meantime, I diligently meditated for one to two hours every day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 10pt;">For reasons I don't quite
understand, maybe this is the Grace that is spoken of, maybe it was my conversations with my best friend, </span><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 10pt;">maybe it was a natural process, </span><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 10pt;">whatever the reason, my deepest beliefs
started getting shaky, weak at their foundations. I wanted the truth! I looked into all sorts of spiritual
offerings on the net. Buddhism, meditations, Sufism, etc, etc. I read "Conversations
with God" and "The Power of Now", but nothing seemed
'right' or true. Everything seemed to have extra stuff added on, things I found
hard to swallow as being real. Every philosophy seemed to try to make sense of a
universe that really made no sense at all, by twisting it to fit its paradigm
of life, reality, it's own box!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 10pt;">God, was I confused! But at the same
time, there was an excitement, an 'inner rush' at challenging my own beliefs.
It sounds weird, but that's how I felt. The mental box I had built around me was showing cracks...</span></div>
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</div>Moonlighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08385836814026790705noreply@blogger.com1