Monday, 26 December 2011

A bit about doubts

As I was reading what I just posted, I realized that it might seem that after seeing no self, I had instant clarity and no remaining confusion or doubts. This wasn’t the case. I’m just writing a tiny bit here, and will expand on this later when I can. 

There was a major immediate shift, yes. Identification with thoughts, the seeing that I didn’t exist as a separate entity from life, etc.  What was seen can’t be unseen, like you don’t start believing in Santa again after realizing he doesn’t really exist. But the mind is very tricky, it continues to create doubts and confusion, doesn’t want the simplicity and truth of reality. And the conditioning of a lifetime doesn’t just finish instantaneously.

And so, one ‘forgets’, and can get caught up in one’s thoughts, emotions and so forth, like getting so caught up in a movie that you forget that it’s not reality. But you still ‘know’ that it’s not real, at the back of the mind, you know what’s real and what’s not. 

This continues to happen to me.  I think it is important to know that this is natural, and it doesn’t mean that you’ve gone into delusion again. 

This is my observation for now, but I would like to write more later about the ‘state of forgetting’ and ‘state of remembering’. But they are both experiences that come and go, and doesn’t mean you have ‘lost’ it. After all, reality remains the same. It is just the mind that creates the doubts, and they are no more than thoughts.

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